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I admit it…I’ve been a bit of a martyr over many of my motherhood years….and being an overwhelmed mom has been a consequence. We did not have children until we had been married for just over 6 years…not by our choice. We knew that once we had children I would quit my job as a dietitian and stay home with our children (I even had plans to homeschool them…which I did!)
So…when we brought our first baby girl home I was ready…or so I thought…to give my everything to motherhood. And for the most part, I have been very happy devoting my time and energy to our children.
But…along the way…I realized that I was feeling the effects of “Overwhelmed Mom”. Things like taking care of myself took a back seat. People would ask me what I liked to do…and it was hard for me to answer!
I realized that I needed to take care of myself so that I could give my children the gift of a happy mom and a loving family. I knew I wasn’t being the best example to my own daughters of how a mother should take care of herself and her family.
Just to be clear…I am not a health care professional. If you need to see a doctor, a therapist, or call a hotline…don’t hesitate. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your people!
I still struggle between finding a balance in my own personal fulfillment and being there for my children as a mom. But I’m doing better.
I have been better about taking time for myself…to read, to write, to exercise. I’m teaching my children that I can do some things that I enjoy for myself. And they can respect that time…and sometimes even join in!
Top 10 Tips for Preventing Overwhelmed Mom Syndrome
My family will always be at the top of my priority list…but there are some things I have learned that I need to be a happy mom…rather than an overwhelmed mom!
- Be intentional about my time … Use a block schedule so you and your children know the routine. It helps me a lot to know that I have time for me scheduled. Often small amounts of carefully planned “me time” will give me the boost I need.
- Create a mom mission statement. Repeating my mom mission statement each morning does so much for keeping me focused on my dreams and values.
- Meditation and prayer. Have you seen how many emotional and mental health benefits are associated with meditation?
- Do hard things together … I talked my 2 oldest daughters into joining me in my last Sprint Triathlon…I wanted us to do it together. We did some of our training together. The day of the event did not go totally as we hoped…but we did it…together.
- Schedule in family time and date nights. This has become increasingly important as my kids have gotten older. Sometimes my teens are up later than I am and I don’t get that alone time with my husband in the evenings. With a busy family schedule, I have found that I have to plan times for us all to do fun things together….or it doesn’t happen!
- Limit screen time…It’s so easy to suppress our feelings by spending too much time on social media. It’s also really tough to avoid comparing ourselves to others. I have been pretty intentional about who I follow on Instagram…and I’m not afraid to delete anyone who doesn’t add value to my life.
- Take a break once in a while Sometimes I just need a mini vacation. It’s ok to pull out the paper plates, have frozen pizza. and give yourself a night off in the kitchen!
- Be okay with not being perfect. I have definitely lowered my expectations with many things…especially housekeeping! I found that with 6 kids I had to do this or risk losing my sanity!
- Be grateful. One of my favorite quotes is “Remember when you prayed for what you have now” I wanted the very life I am now living! And when I think about this it can make me take a step back and remember how blessed I am. I have also started keeping a gratitude journal…it helps me remember how much I am blessed.
- Create and follow routines…I have more time for myself…and my children…when we follow our morning routines and I do my evening routine. This means a calmer, happier mom
- Remembering that my children are individuals. I can get really overwhelmed and frustrated when I try to discipline my children the same…this worked for me when they were young…but with teenagers in the mix it is a whole different ball game! They are all different and unique.
Make it Happen!
- Take a look at the 10 Tips to Prevent Overwhelmed Mom Syndrome. Is there anything on that list that jumps out at you as something that could be helpful? Pick one thing…Make a commitment to yourself and do it!
- I’m not a mental health professional…please take care of yourself mom. Get the help you need!
- Click here to get my “Use-It” letter every week…4 links meant to help you as a mom!
